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Where do you hope to be in 20 years?

-- By MichaelAdams - 12 Mar 2017

How it Started

Some variation of this question begins to leave the mouths of our elders beginning in first grade. Parents ask us this question in hopes of not only instilling in us a goal oriented mindset, but to also keep our imaginations in check. Children often dream of being astronauts, circus performers, or even other animals and although parents contradict themselves with the statement of “you can do whatever you put your mind to”, the question of should you, brings up concerns. Most parents in our society change the narrative as the child gets older. Slowly erasing possibilities and changing them into practicalities. Embedding their goals, aspirations, and struggles into our psyche so that we can live a better life. Is it really that selfish of them to do this? After all, everyone wishes that the next generation be better than the last, that is called progress. But, it is difficult to reconcile the dichotomy between societal or generational outward appearing progress and introspective or personal progress as one lives out his or her life. My parents squarely fit this mold, not anticipating my existence, but making sure that I knew that I could do better than they did. But, the way in which this was to be accomplished generationally was not through imagination. It was through putting your mind to something that your mind can grasp at the moment. Staying afloat was the immediate goals of my parents, of course with a dose of happiness, but their happiness was felt vicariously through their children. So as I started to formulate an idea of how I wanted to live my life, it was heavily influenced by the importance of being comfortable. Never having to concern myself with the obtainability of necessities. That was my definition of happiness. But in reality it was not, it was my parents’. I believe that happiness is not a concrete feeling that is there or not there. It is always on a spectrum that is constantly sliding, and the more you are on the positive end your disposition is considered happy by others. However, this sliding scale looks different for everyone. So, when your parents are from an environment where making ends meet equated to happiness this poses a problem for the next generation whose happiness spectrum is a bit different. The breadth of this spectrum does not always reveal itself from day one; it may take many learned experiences and reassessments to fully understand it. In the meantime, I made decisions based on what I believed would make me happy.

My Current State

While traversing the halls of my undergraduate institution, I began to become aware of my full spectrum. The end of my happiness spectrum was not just a comfortable life. There was more fulfillment that I wanted to achieve. This is a double-edged sword because the extension of the spectrum is a privilege that my parents never reached. However, the more I could see, the more I realized that my aspirations placed me only halfway on my spectrum. This is not necessarily a positive feeling. Confusion came over me and the feeling of being lost was consuming. Ignorance is bliss and I thought that I was progressing rapidly to my better self. So I kept putting one foot in front of the other and following the motions; the easier route. Completing a degree in finance, because that would lead to stability. Off to corporate America, because that is the logical next step. Then law school, because I continued to work off of my clouded view of my future. Introspection can be difficult, especially when you do not like what you see. I am at a pivotal point in my life where I have the freedom, time, and opportunities that my parents did not have. I have to make sure that I use this time to actually move toward my better self. If there is one thing I learned about finance, it is that it is never a bad move to cut your losses, the opposite is much worse.

My 43-year-old self

In 20 years I hope to make sure that the next generation has the openness to reach for the unattainable at an earlier age and if that does not work out, then focusing on the practical is not a terrible outcome. The opposite construction can be much more difficult to handle. I hope to personally see positive results from taking chances and moving away from comfortability. In turn, the next generation can see the breadth of their spectrum that much sooner, so that their realities are not as surprising.

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