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Fearing "Protect and Serve"

-- By TaleahTyrell - 16 Apr 2021

Pretextual Stops Escalating

Expired Registration Tags

My boyfriend who lives across the country called me over Facetime last night, as we always do. I asked about his day and he proceeded to tell me he had a nice day but again did not have a chance to drive over to the DMV to drop of a change of address form. He moved from Southern California to Northern California about a year ago and promptly submitted a change of address form to the postal office. Unbeknownst to him, that change does not apply to DMV documents. His new registration was sent to his old address and he had no way to get these documents.

As he explained the situation I smiled and encouragingly told him to try and get that done as soon as possible. Though I was trying to be supportive, my mind was racing and my anxiety was peaking. I did not want to stress him out but the thought of him driving to work every day with an expired registration produced in me great fear.

In the midst of the Derek Chauvin case, a few miles away, another officer shot a 20-year-old black male. They pulled him over because of his expired tags. When the officers got to his car, they also noticed items hanging from the rear view mirror which is prohibited under Minnesota law. A quick run of his name found that he had a warrant and a custodial arrest ensued. After the shooting, the police chief said that the officer who shot the young father actually mistook her gun for a taser. She's worked in the field for 20-years. I watched the video. I saw the young man try to get back into his car as he was being arrested. I saw him try to drive off. On my Instagram I see people say the typical "He was resisting arrest." There's not a lot of people anymore that say that, but there are still some.

I've seen others say, "How can civilians be expected to stay calm when even police officers are not calm enough to distinguish a gun from a taser?" I saw the look in his face on that video. It is a look of utter fear. A look where you weigh the odds and decide that its better to try and escape the situation because the risk of death is already there. He took that risk, he still got death.

Pretextual Stops are not Uncommon

I've experienced that same fear several times. A year ago, while driving around San Diego with my boyfriend the cops stopped us as we are cruising around an affluent neighborhood.

"License and registration." "May I ask what we did wrong officer?" "Your license plate is not from California."

We looked at each other, so scared of what was happening as the cop walked back to his car to run his license. A few minutes later he came back to the car, this time, completely ignoring him, only talking to me.

"Where is he from?" the cop asked me. And then, "Ma'm, I need to see your license or identification too."

Luckily I'd brought my wallet along. Normally, when we go out to drive I tend to leave everything at home. I gave him my identification and he said, "Oh, you are from here." A few minutes later, he let us go.

Our day was ruined. We left angry, confused, hurt, but most of all embarrassed. Why did he ask for MY license if I was not the one driving? Why did he stop us for driving around with a Tennessee license plate? I started crying, fuming. I knew that officer was just trying to get a power high. To show us what he could do and doing what he did because he could. I don't know what I would've done had I been asked to get out of the car that day. I want to say that I would comply and do all as I was asked to do. But even knowing all the rules, I can't be 100% sure how my sympathetic nervous system would've reacted. I can't say that my fight or flight instincts wouldn't hit me and I too would be, like Daunte, trying to flee the situation in fear.

Re-imagining Policing for those who FEAR Police

Both Parties Fearing Other

The death of George Floyd last year shook many Americans to their core. As the officer who shot him stands in trial, we see how different this case has been for others. The wall of defense that police officers users have for each other has largely broken down. We have witnessed officer after officer testify against one of their own, to the disbelief of many. Cities have also made changes. Efforts to "defund the police" have spurred throughout the country. But what does it mean to "defund" a cornerstone of our society? Some say its allocating some of their resources to other services such as mental health counselors, community vigilante groups, and social workers, arguing that they should be alternative numbers of citizens to call for help during a situation. Others argue that the money should go towards racial bias training so that officers can identify and overcome this instinct. A smaller group calls for officers to get more training so that they learn to de-escalate situations without resorting to killing.

Many black people in this country, however, who know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of pretextual stops and micro-aggression also know that the answer cannot include police officers in the form that they are currently presented. There is a deep un-spoken, but deeply embedded rule within the black community I was raised in: Don't call the po po. Issues are largely solved within the community. We largely defer to pastors or respected elders when it comes to solving issue within the community. As for interactions with the police that are not by our choice, we largely try to avoid them. Most of us have had the talk: when you encounter the police only say yes sir, no ma'am. Do exactly as you are told. I've practiced it several times. But its different when you encounter an officer. All the fear and anger can easily boil together, especially when you feel like you've been unjustly stopped.

How the Police System has to Change

The policing of Black Americans will likely need to be re-imagined completely because of the deep trauma the Black community has faced at the hands of police. Some say that the issue is that some police officers that are "bad apples." Unfortunately, it is not that simple. I refuse to believe that most of the officers killing Black Americans are horrible racists who want to see Black people dead. These cops have jobs, families, and commitments to uphold. I do not think they would do their dirty work so openly and freely. I do not think they would be willing to risk it all considering the current political climate. I certainly do not think that they would do so during the same with where they see one of theirs on trial, largely unsupported by all his ex co-workers and presumably friends.

Instead, it's that even "good apples" can freak out. That the same fear Black Americans have for the police is may actually be shared by police towards Black Americans. Even those that do not intend to injure or kill during a traffic stop the fear and anxiety exuded by the person they have stopped may be incorrectly interpreted as aggression. My sympathetic system is mirrored by the police officer, also triggered within them. And in cases where they actually hold a gun, and I do not, the result is sometimes inevitable. This is why we see police officers safely arrest and detain non-black people. The officers are working with discipline, making sound decisions.

Officer Fears Resulting in Deadly Work

As I watched the video of 13-year old Adam Toledo getting shot to death by an officer, I couldn't help but also hear the fear and anxiety in the officers voice. A similar tone to the killer of Daunte Wright. But one was trained, doing their job, and had a gun so naturally more expected of that person. Police reform and defunding may be a start to re-imagining how to police Black communities. But those efforts will largely fail if the anxiety and fears that are triggered within officers as they try to detain those that do not look like their son or brother or cousin or uncle are not first acknowledged, addressed, and remedied.

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