The Art of Performance

-- By KatelynStarks - 20 Feb 2025

"When creating your own artwork, would you want the crayons to draw for you?” asked Professor Moglen. Originally, my answer was simple: "Yes." I believe that following certain guidelines has led to my success in life and am now confronting ways that I can overcome that belief.

Its Origins

Growing up as an African American woman in the South, my life was entrenched in tradition and the expectation of maintaining a certain image. I was taught that perception shapes opportunity and that adhering to societal guidelines is necessary to achieve success. In many ways, I was formally trained to perform. As a child, I participated in pageants, and at sixteen, I took part in a Cotillion, a months-long process of training in table etiquette, graceful walking, and manners, all culminating in one night of walking across a stage, waltzing in front of hundreds, and placing second. My immediate family, along with many of my relatives, still live on the very land my fifth great-grandfather purchased when he bought his freedom. This land serves as both a testament to my ancestors' resilience and a reminder of the expectation to honor that legacy through social mobility and societal acceptance.

To me, my mother is the epitome of a successful Black woman: an HBCU graduate, a leader actively involved in numerous organizations, planning galas and charity events, mentoring youth in our community, all while maintaining her career and being an incredible mother. Her life, in many ways, embodies the ideals of respectability politics, demonstrating how Black excellence is often measured by one's ability to navigate and assimilate into traditionally white spaces while uplifting the community.

These experiences are not unique to me nor my parents but are part of a broader cultural experience tied to the politics of respectability and the traditions of Southern Black communities. It is almost as if one’s success in performance is synonymous with one’s success in life. In undergrad, one of my Africana Studies courses examined the impact of respectability politics, and I began to recognize how much of my upbringing reflected generations of abandoning certain cultural expressions to fit into white America. While I view this as a practice that can be harmful to one's sense of self, I also acknowledge how these strategies enabled my family to survive in the South and access new opportunities.

Its Continuation

My law school experience has felt like a step backward. Once again, I find myself navigating a predominantly white institution, but this time, there seems to be an even stronger push to conform due to the academics and the professionalism expected in legal spaces. From the beginning, we are taught that there is a "right" way to read a case, that legal writing must follow the strict structure of CREAC, and that even in cold calls, we must answer questions in a particular manner. I remember receiving exam advice from 2Ls and 3Ls, many of whom told me that the best way to succeed was to figure out what the professor wanted to see and to avoid inserting my own ideas unless explicitly asked to in a policy question.

Even the recruiting process feels like an exercise in performing society's vision of a successful lawyer. There are certain questions you should ask and some you must avoid. There are specific people you must connect with. You send polished follow-up emails, expressing how lovely it was to meet and how much you'd love to continue the conversation. The entire process, much like the traditions I was raised in, reinforces the idea that success is tied to mastering and executing a carefully curated image.

Yes, these are dilemmas that I’m certain every student faces, but I question do we all have the ability not to conform? Based on origins within society, are the possibilities in our future limited if we choose not to conform? Is there a difference in outcomes for a White male choosing not to perform versus a Black woman?

I’ve often felt that there is. The art of performing feels almost as if it is bigger than oneself – as if one bad performance, reflects poorly on the whole cast. What happens if I don’t conform to society’s expectations, doing something against the “status quo?” If it fails, will it reflect poorly on other young Black women to follow? If I fail at something while conforming, I simply made a mistake or I simply need to try a bit harder. It only harms me. But what happens when I fail while not performing? How does that reflect on other young Black women to follow? It almost feels as if it could harm those to follow.

Confronting It

So how do we take control of the crayons? The odd part is, we already do.

“Almost” is not certainty. Whether or not we view ourselves as living in a truly free society, there is a choice of rejecting conformity and protecting the freedom we do have. A free society cannot be recognized while one is performing. Liberating oneself from performing is taking care of oneself, and in a legal career, that could increase one’s longevity in fighting for justice and liberty. There is no room for compromising in liberty and justice, and that includes in oneself.

Maybe law school does reward and encourage the art of performance; however, there is a choice not to perform, and perhaps not doing so will create stronger lawyers. I recognize that historically, conforming to different societal expectations has resulted in the upward mobility of my family and so many other Black families. However, now that we are here, I also recognize the ways that practice is hindering and limits one’s individuality. Taking control of the crayons means recognizing that “we is free” and that there is no power in compromising that freedom, as doing so only reestablishes a society based on “norms” that historically and continuously have not benefited those from less privileged backgrounds.

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