The draft is clear and effective, sometimes moving. I think Anita Ford is either given one sentence too few or didn't need to be there at all, and there are one or two other places where a little editorial hard-heartedness should be exercised. But I think the most important route to improvement is to head back into the center of the mystery: Why is freedom a foreign concept when it is also the one you have been seeking all the way along? To resent the world's shaping of the female role for you, to occupy yourself with forms of physical training and discipline designed to make escape possible, to prepare your mind for the need for freedom, to be receptive to the signals in the environment indicating the direction, and then also to be fearful, or—in the usual spasm of high-school exstentialism—sure that people mostly are unsuccessful in resisting the burden of it: how very human, don't you think?