Lessons After a Year of Law School

You can improve this draft by making the writing simpler. Every sentence in each paragraph must add an idea or be removed. Every word in each sentence must be doing work. Take "Finally, another short-term goal that I have is to learn more about what my financial needs might be in the future, and how I can meet these needs." It means, I believe, "I need to know how much money is enough for me." Much of the draft can be reduced to "I am thinking about opening a small immigration practice of my own." These are valuable insights, but they benefit from being put simply, where we can see what they are, rather than being surrounded by padding. There aren't many words necessary to establish that you might have to support a family one day. Boil down what is here, put it in a straightforward arrangement (Why would "long-term goals" precede "short-term goals"?) and then I think it will become clear what questions your essay really needs to ask and begin answering.