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CourtneyDoakSecondPaper 5 - 25 Apr 2012 - Main.CourtneyDoak
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Reflections on Splitting | | | Unlike the narrator in Bartleby, I never saw a ghost, a manifestation of my split, a representation of everything I wanted to be. I feel fortunate that perhaps I hadn't fully repressed or split from my desires of what I want to do for my life’s work, and so the strength of these desires pulled me back together. | |
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< | Since beginning law school, I have grown increasingly anxious in trying to stay true to my convictions, to pursue work in children’s rights upon graduation. As the reality of financial burden set in, I made hypothetical compromises: what if I postpone my true ambitions, work at a firm a couple years, pay off my loans, then do what I came here to do? | >
> | Since beginning law school, I have grown increasingly anxious in trying to stay true to my convictions, to pursue work in children’s rights upon graduation. As the reality of financial burden set in, I made hypothetical compromises: what if I postpone my true ambitions, work at a firm a couple years, pay off my loans, then do what I came here to do? | | | I recognized the irrationality of these compromises, especially upon realization that I've already been down this road: dissonance, rationalizations, splitting, coming back together. I was disconcerted by the possibility of beginning this cycle anew, splitting once more, unconsciously living an eminently safe life haunted by a ghost I cannot see. |
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