For whatever this is worth, I think Eben’s comments on a day close to the end of the semester were the starting point of all of this. Recall when he shared with us that, for example, custom-tailored suits that have real button holes on the cuff of the sleeves are distinguished from off-the-rack ones that don’t have real button holes. You know that this raised the anxiety level in the room, especially among those male students who never knew this, and therefore wondered what else they didn’t know. Then his comment on Mina’s paper about the collar and tie being the tell-all to interviewers – but then not sharing what IS the correct collar/tie choice – raised blood pressure levels among these self-doubting men in our class all over again. (I just hope he continues to act like he doesn’t know quite as much about women’s clothing, so that we women don’t start having reason to let our minds run with fear, too.) Although many will take issue with this, I think men are more prone to wanting to comply with whatever it takes to get to the top – many of them want families and figure that it may be the case that they will be the primary breadwinners, if not the sole breadwinners (I know, I know, I’m older, so while this viewpoint seems less relevant today than a generation ago, I believe that old impulses die hard, especially when, after all, the men in our class are influenced by their fathers). I’m generalizing here, but I believe many of the men in our class want to get it right so that they minimize the issues that may cause them to sacrifice something that they consider valuable. Desperate, maybe, but just remember, women oftentimes take alternative career paths, and this is socially acceptable, especially if there are children involved, so it makes sense that we hear a lot more anxiety coming from some of the men in our class than the women, and perhaps for good reason.

-- BarbPitman - 11 May 2008