Law in Contemporary Society

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AllisonHoustonFirstEssay 2 - 08 Apr 2018 - Main.EbenMoglen
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It is strongly recommended that you include your outline in the body of your essay by using the outline as section titles. The headings below are there to remind you how section and subsection titles are formatted.
 

My Fear of An Unlived Life

-- By AllisonHouston - 01 Mar 2018

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Sometimes I feel strange and out of place being enrolled as a law student. I’m sure my previous statement is something that on the surface resonates with many of my first year peers. But, what I am trying to convey with that sentiment is something much deeper. I don’t feel out of place in the traditional and predictable sense of viewing law school as a daunting undertaking, the classes being incredibly difficult and unique compared to a typical undergraduate liberal arts curriculum, or the general uneasiness and weariness accompanying the 1L summer job hunt. Rather, I have no intention of becoming a lawyer. Particularly in the sense that my end goal aspirations do not include working at a firm till the ripe age of retirement with a career spanning decades. That to me would represent a grave failure on my part and a disservice to myself so extreme that I would have a problem looking myself in the mirror everyday knowing I was too much of a cautious coward to pursue my true aspiration: politics.

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Sometimes I feel strange and out of place being enrolled as a law student. I’m sure my previous statement is something that on the surface resonates with many of my first year peers. But, what I am trying to convey with that sentiment is something much deeper. I don’t feel out of place in the traditional and predictable sense of viewing law school as a daunting undertaking, the classes being incredibly difficult and unique compared to a typical undergraduate liberal arts curriculum, or the general uneasiness and weariness accompanying the 1L summer job hunt. Rather, I have no intention of becoming a lawyer. Particularly in the sense that my end goal aspirations do not include working at a firm till the ripe age of retirement with a career spanning decades. That to me would represent a grave failure on my part and a disservice to myself so extreme that I would have a problem looking myself in the mirror everyday knowing I was too much of a cautious coward to pursue my true aspiration: politics.
 
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I am probably one of the few people who can claim having a parent who was initially disappointed in their choice to attend law school. The fact I would be attending an Ivy League law school made no difference. But, I know it had less to do with my choice of graduate studies and more to do with my ultimate career aspirations. My mother deeply worries about the unpredictability of a political career and disfavors the fact that my employment prospects in that field are dependent on the support of others, rather than a stable well paying law firm job.

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An essay should begin by taking the reader's attention. This paragraph is prolix and not arresting. It means "I'm here so I can go into politics." You can just say that. Then you can get directly to the main idea of the essay, and the reader will follow you.
 
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I am probably one of the few people who can claim having a parent who was initially disappointed in their choice to attend law school. The fact I would be attending an Ivy League law school made no difference. But, I know it had less to do with my choice of graduate studies and more to do with my ultimate career aspirations. My mother deeply worries about the unpredictability of a political career and disfavors the fact that my employment prospects in that field are dependent on the support of others, rather than a stable well paying law firm job.
 
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Since I was in preschool, I had always wanted to be a heart surgeon, but I had a drastic change in trajectory after the election of President Obama in 2008. I had already been active in student council for years prior, but I never thought to think larger, to apply my interest to something much bigger and impactful. Honestly, it’s very hard to imagine yourself in certain positions when it has never been done before by someone who looks like you. American politics are overwhelming white and male, so to see someone like you attain such a historically inaccessible position to those who don’t look like the previous 43 presidents was an amazing thing to witness as an impressionable middle-schooler.

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This could be "My mother wants me to get a law firm job and earn good, steady money. She doesn't understand why I want to be in politics." Use fewer words, and you will say more, because you will keep the reader with you, and to a reader who has given up there is nothing to be said.
 
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Although politics has for the most part been viewed as corrupt, self-serving, unjust, and more often than not an enforcement of hegemonic power structures, it can also be an avenue of profound change, impact, and social progression. The political system can be greatly steered by active civic engagement and participation. Now, since many people are unsatisfied in the wake of the 2016 election, I feel that politics requires participation by those are willing to rise above the discouragement and vitriol.

 
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Since I was in preschool, I had always wanted to be a heart surgeon, but I had a drastic change in trajectory after the election of President Obama in 2008. I had already been active in student council for years prior, but I never thought to think larger, to apply my interest to something much bigger and impactful. Honestly, it’s very hard to imagine yourself in certain positions when it has never been done before by someone who looks like you. American politics are overwhelming white and male, so to see someone like you attain such a historically inaccessible position to those who don’t look like the previous 43 presidents was an amazing thing to witness as an impressionable middle-schooler.
 
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But oftentimes I worry that that my cheery disposition towards the good politics can do is just a byproduct of my youth and naivety. I sometimes wonder if with age will I change in my demeanor. I fear losing optimism, I fear losing hopefulness, but I most fear succumbing to jadedness and apathy. Becoming numb and indifferent to problems faced by others is something I don’t ever want to be part of my character.

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This paragraph too can be at least two thirds shorter.
 
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Although politics has for the most part been viewed as corrupt, self-serving, unjust, and more often than not an enforcement of hegemonic power structures, it can also be an avenue of profound change, impact, and social progression. The political system can be greatly steered by active civic engagement and participation. Now, since many people are unsatisfied in the wake of the 2016 election, I feel that politics requires participation by those are willing to rise above the discouragement and vitriol.

But oftentimes I worry that that my cheery disposition towards the good politics can do is just a byproduct of my youth and naivety. I sometimes wonder if with age will I change in my demeanor. I fear losing optimism, I fear losing hopefulness, but I most fear succumbing to jadedness and apathy. Becoming numb and indifferent to problems faced by others is something I don’t ever want to be part of my character.

This draft is a good beginning; it gets the material on the page where you can see it, and decide what to do next.

First course of improvement, as I say in the comments above, is radical tightening. You need only a few of the words already here to say the things you need to say, simply and with force. That leave more than enough room for the next course of improvement, which is to take your own idea seriously.

So, you want to be in politics. You are in law school, preparing to hold a law license. Why? What can you learn in law school that you need? Which network are you building? What do you need to know about how to begin a political career, and from whom do you learn it? Which of your colleagues in law school have been working on campaigns and doing political advertising before they came to law school, so they can offer you some reality about what it's like to do the candidate thing? And so on. Use the next draft to think about the questions that your intentions raise, so that objectives can be clarified, and necessary resources identified; it is, after all, objectives and resources that are the inputs to strategy.

Good, you have begun to know what you want. (You can always change what you want later on, but until you have begun to shape objectives for yourself you cannot learn to make strategy.) Now you can learn to think about what you want in a systematic way.

 

AllisonHoustonFirstEssay 1 - 02 Mar 2018 - Main.AllisonHouston
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META TOPICPARENT name="FirstEssay"
It is strongly recommended that you include your outline in the body of your essay by using the outline as section titles. The headings below are there to remind you how section and subsection titles are formatted.

My Fear of An Unlived Life

-- By AllisonHouston - 01 Mar 2018

Sometimes I feel strange and out of place being enrolled as a law student. I’m sure my previous statement is something that on the surface resonates with many of my first year peers. But, what I am trying to convey with that sentiment is something much deeper. I don’t feel out of place in the traditional and predictable sense of viewing law school as a daunting undertaking, the classes being incredibly difficult and unique compared to a typical undergraduate liberal arts curriculum, or the general uneasiness and weariness accompanying the 1L summer job hunt. Rather, I have no intention of becoming a lawyer. Particularly in the sense that my end goal aspirations do not include working at a firm till the ripe age of retirement with a career spanning decades. That to me would represent a grave failure on my part and a disservice to myself so extreme that I would have a problem looking myself in the mirror everyday knowing I was too much of a cautious coward to pursue my true aspiration: politics.

I am probably one of the few people who can claim having a parent who was initially disappointed in their choice to attend law school. The fact I would be attending an Ivy League law school made no difference. But, I know it had less to do with my choice of graduate studies and more to do with my ultimate career aspirations. My mother deeply worries about the unpredictability of a political career and disfavors the fact that my employment prospects in that field are dependent on the support of others, rather than a stable well paying law firm job.

Since I was in preschool, I had always wanted to be a heart surgeon, but I had a drastic change in trajectory after the election of President Obama in 2008. I had already been active in student council for years prior, but I never thought to think larger, to apply my interest to something much bigger and impactful. Honestly, it’s very hard to imagine yourself in certain positions when it has never been done before by someone who looks like you. American politics are overwhelming white and male, so to see someone like you attain such a historically inaccessible position to those who don’t look like the previous 43 presidents was an amazing thing to witness as an impressionable middle-schooler.

Although politics has for the most part been viewed as corrupt, self-serving, unjust, and more often than not an enforcement of hegemonic power structures, it can also be an avenue of profound change, impact, and social progression. The political system can be greatly steered by active civic engagement and participation. Now, since many people are unsatisfied in the wake of the 2016 election, I feel that politics requires participation by those are willing to rise above the discouragement and vitriol.

But oftentimes I worry that that my cheery disposition towards the good politics can do is just a byproduct of my youth and naivety. I sometimes wonder if with age will I change in my demeanor. I fear losing optimism, I fear losing hopefulness, but I most fear succumbing to jadedness and apathy. Becoming numb and indifferent to problems faced by others is something I don’t ever want to be part of my character.


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Revision 2r2 - 08 Apr 2018 - 16:33:38 - EbenMoglen
Revision 1r1 - 02 Mar 2018 - 00:08:53 - AllisonHouston
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