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MatthewGriffinCashiaFirstPaper 5 - 07 Jan 2013 - Main.EbenMoglen
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Facebook: Big Brother is Watching | | | Though clear that Facebook represents an opportunity for abuse of individuals' right to privacy, it must be noted that Facebook is not unique. Many other companies, such as Google, pose a threat. Additionally, the threat is not limited to internet based companies. For example, Microsoft's Kinect, which is a motion capturing camera used by individuals in conjunction with the X-Box 360, allows Microsoft to view your activity in your own home (reminiscent of the cameras placed in each citizens' home in 1984). Microsoft subsequently sells that data, albeit only in numerical, and not video, form, to third parties, most of whom are advertisers.
Although some may argue that the odds of such privacy abuses are low, they are overlooking the gravity of the situation if such concerns were to become a reality. The correct inquiry is not just an examination into the abuses that monitoring has caused, but rather we must examine if the risks posed by such monitoring are so great as to make the monitoring itself unjustifiable. Look out my friends, “Big Brother could be watching.” | |
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This is a capable and forcefully-written summary of available
information, structured by a metaphor, which comes from Orwell. What
is the idea you want to contribute to the discussion? The sentences
that supposedly bear your meaning are tentative, subjunctive in mood
where they aren't "some may argue" slippery in content. What the
next draft needs is your point, made clearly to start with,
developed, and then offered to the reader in conclusion, for further
exploration.
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