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LiasBorshanSecondEssay 3 - 29 Dec 2020 - Main.EbenMoglen
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| | | As a society in the midst of this pandemic, we stand at the precipice of what could be the next phase in obliterating human freedom and autonomy. This does not mean that we should not embrace the technologies we have available to us and the myriad of benefits that they may confer to the human race. We must, however, tread carefully. The free, unrestricted use of our personal information, behavioral data, and medical data, by these companies allows their algorithms to mold our behaviors in ways that we cannot fully comprehend. Before we begin considering how all of this data could be useful, we need to set the ground rules for how it can be used and who can use it. In doing so, the focus must be on democratizing this form of knowledge, to combat the immense imbalance that a monopoly on this knowledge grants. The pandemic has made clear just how urgently countries need to figure out the limits on what can be done with data and the extent to which it should be anonymized. Only once regulations are developed, can we begin re-contextualizing these technologies and their uses, without compromising our freedom and privacy. | |
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Set the scene you do, very well. But having opened with a broad general argument, your movement to the particulars of the data-miners' response to the epidemic is too abrupt. The draft would benefit from having that transition occur in a more articulated manner.
It would be better to put the epidemic-related activities in their larger context. With respect only to Google, for example, you should point out that health information is already an entire letter of the Alphabet. A little more clarity about what is already going on under the V would set the scene better in another way. Instead of one item, about the UK NHS, the essay should have command of a broader view of activities of the companies. Again, with respect only to Google, a collation of its own statements is a good place to start.
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You are entitled to restrict access to your paper if you want to. But we all derive immense benefit from reading one another's work, and I hope you won't feel the need unless the subject matter is personal and its disclosure would be harmful or undesirable. |
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