Conditioning

Many of us have experienced that tantalizing urge to continue scrolling on Instagram , or that desire to check one’s phone when the familiar ding sound indicating a notification is made. Without knowing it, many of us have been conditioned to behave this way unconsciously. These tech companies make their money by capturing our attention so it makes sense that their products, through behavioral prediction, would attempt to condition our behavior. In my experience, the most difficult step in separating myself from my technological dependence was kicking the various urges and unconscious behaviors that I had developed. For many, including myself, kicking this habit was too difficult initially. Instead, I began by making sure that all notification sounds on all of my devices were off. Just that change alone made an immense difference as it became clear to me just how much I had been conditioned to respond to this constant source of stimulation and interruption. For the first time, there was a consistent silence as my devices had no way of getting a hold of me or informing me of any updates. This afforded me the opportunity to focus and be disciplined with respect to my tech usage. With that in mind, the next helpful step in this process was the slow weaning process away from my phone. During the day, if I needed to do anything technologically related, it would be on my computer. Additionally, I would not permit myself to use the desktop versions of my phone apps as an alternative. This proved difficult as I felt myself having withdrawal-type symptoms and constantly anxiously reaching for a phone that was either not there or not turned on. The apps on our phones and computers promise convenience and stimulation, but the algorithms play off of our anxieties to keep us using the devices. As a result, the first few days of this process were an anxious time for me as I wondered what people were up to, experienced FOMO (fear of missing out), and felt desperately through my pockets for a device to fiddle with and pass the time. Eventually though, it became far easier as I found myself being able to focus for longer and longer amounts of time, without interruption. Within two weeks, I was able to read for more than 30 minutes at a time without feeling immense frustration and a temptation to grab something or do something else or alt-tab to some other activity. As I continued to follow these steps over the last year, I found myself increasingly aware of when I was being interrupted by technology and felt more capable of addressing the issue and finding my focus.

So then, what is to be done?

The fact is that you do not need to be tapped in to your loved one’s feeds and be accessible via instant messaging on social media to maintain social relations with them. Any meaningful communications you wanted to have over a social media app can be done securely over email(see GPG) , so long as you make it clear to the people you love that that is your preferred means of communication. In making this transition, most will inevitably feel as if they’ve lost something dear. We are so accustomed to the noise of our friends’ and families’ every lingering thought and feeling that we have forgotten what it is like to be alone with our thoughts. This does not mean isolating oneself from genuine social connection, but instead drawing a line separating oneself from the overstimulation (even the stimulation created by our loved one’s posts) that our devices and apps have conditioned us to normalize.