Ice-Water, Digital Distribution, and Social Costs

Justin,

I think you've presented a very thoughtful paradigm through which we can view some of the ideas Eben has been presenting to us in class. I'm not sure that I have any comments on the ideas as you present them, but I will offer some literary advice, as it were.

I think your paper would be much, much stronger if you could rework, or indeed, entirely eliminate the first three paragraphs. Your idea is strong enough to stand without so much introduction. It's irrelevant to the reader that you listen to music when you study, and quite frankly, so too are what the class objections to Eben's ideas were, since you don't actually address them explicitly. I think your paper loses some punch by presenting itself as a response to things that happened in class, rather than as ideas that are valuable and important in their own right. A more formal approach would be better. Of course, your paper can and probably should incorporate ideas from class discussion. But you lose some power as a writer communicating to a reader when you rely too heavily, or at least explicitly, on that. If you could drop the first three paragraphs, and instead roadmap more clearly your argument, I think this would be a much stronger work.

On a more substantive note, I'd like to see more information about phase transition. Can you point to other phase transitions in our society? (This is perhaps what I mean by more formal. You could introduce your ideas with something about other phase transitions, given the reader a context that isn't depended on his a) having been in class or b) knowing you as a person).

There's a lot of value here to work with, so some reworking to make sure that value is seen would be a good thing for all of us.

-- DanaDelger - 18 Nov 2009