| |
| META TOPICPARENT | name="FirstEssay" |
|---|
| |
<
< |
You used more than half the space in this draft for the movie. The best route to improvement is to reduce it to a sentence. The idea of the draft may be your difficult first encounter with law school; the story is harrowing in several respects. You have suffered and you should have sympathetic help. And, like every other student in the first year of law school, you should carefully consider whether to come back after your first year. Not more than people whose adjustments to law school seemed easier, but also not less, you should know for sure when you return in the fall why you are doing so.
Which is what I think this essay is really about. The last sentences of the current draft say, if I understand them correctly, "I have plans for work I want to do, with which a US law degree would only be very peripherally associated, and which don't involve practicing US law." If that's right, the next draft might very well be to provide a more detailed analysis of the statements made here, for the purpose of actually asking whether returning to law school next year is what you want to do.
| | | Creatively Envisioning my Practice
Reflection of My Inner Soul at Law School
Helplessness Due to Loss of Motivation | |
<
< | Last fall semester, I myself felt “stuck” in this feeling of helplessness and skepticism regarding coming to law school. I wasn’t necessarily intrigued by the law and it was not like I had a grandiose dream of becoming a big law firm associate. I simply wanted a “stable” and “well-paying” job that would not require any financial or economic knowledge—I deeply hated numbers and economic calculations. Therefore, I was happy when I got admitted to the law school of my dreams. | >
> | Last fall, I felt skeptical and helpless of choosing to attend law school. I neither was interested in law nor dreamed of becoming a lawyer. I simply wanted a “stable” job that would not require any financial knowledge as I hated numbers. Therefore, I was relieved when admitted to the law school with great employment prospects. | | | | |
<
< | However, starting my studies and learning more about what actual big-law firm associates do and what their work-life balance looks like, I felt a larger dissociation than I ever had in my life. My immediate response to the fear and anxiety I felt was a want to drop out; but I had already paid for a semester’s worth of tuition, and it felt like it was too late. After all, I did not want to merely throw away the four years during my undergraduate career in which I vigorously prepared for law school admissions. I simply pushed through a semester, unclear of why I had to be studying all these theoretical legal classes. My internal conflict did indeed create a mental split, and to make the “split feel less tearing”, borrowing from Professor Moglen’s words, I relied on nicotine and alcohol to make it to the end of the semester. | >
> | However, learning about the reality of big-law firms and associates’ work-life balance, my immediate response to the fear and anxiety was to drop out. But I had already paid for my tuition and did not want to waste my years-worth of effort of vigorously preparing for law school. Thus, I pushed through a semester, unclear of why I had to attend classes. My internal conflict thus created a mental split between my struggle to not give up and the desire to put an end to a purposeless struggle. To make the “split feel less tearing”—borrowing from Professor Moglen’s words—I relied on alcohol to make it to the end of the semester. | | | | |
<
< | My Initial Shallow Attempt at Solving My Cognitive Dissonance
When I applied to Columbia Law School, I wrote in my personal statement North Koreans face significant challenges in South Korea, and that I want to pursue a legal education to help these re-settlers frame their past sufferings as human rights violations, mobilizing North Koreans to call for reforms in the South Korean government’s resettlement program. This was my personal narrative that I carved out for myself and I think convinced myself was my true passion. | | | | |
<
< | Even during the time when I was writing the first draft of this essay, I wrote that my creative attempt at solving my cognitive dissonance was to follow my “passion”, which I defined as education and refugee empowerment. As an East Asian Studies major during my undergraduate career, North Korean refugee policy was the main academic and professional extra-curricular activities I engaged in for years—working as head volunteer of North Korean refugee organizations and legal intern at legal NGOs serving advocacy for North Korean refugees. I think deep down I convinced myself that—as an undergraduate East Asian Studies major who was born and raised in Seoul, South Korea—this specialization would make me a unique candidate both as an applicant and student at law school. | >
> | The Initial Shallow Attempt at Solving My Cognitive Dissonance
Applying to Columbia Law, I wrote in my personal statement North Koreans face significant challenges in South Korea, and that I want to pursue a legal education to help these re-settlers frame their past sufferings as human rights violations, mobilizing them to call for reforms in the South Korean government’s resettlement program. This was my personal narrative that I carved out for myself and convinced myself to be my true passion. | | | | |
<
< | Hence, when Professor Moglen pointed out that I have plans for work I want to do but with which “a US law degree would only be very peripherally associated” and “doesn’t involve practicing US law”, this was the first time I think I truly, honestly questioned myself for the first time whether I was consciously conditioning myself to a set “passion” that would conveniently reassure myself I have a set path ahead of me. Something not big law, something public interest related, and something involving a field I would have more experience than others and have more specialty in. I also think that somewhere deep inside, my inner moral compass led me to think that my law degree must in some way serve the victimized minorities of society to hold value. | >
> | Even when I was writing the first draft of this essay, I wrote that my creative attempt at solving my cognitive dissonance was to follow my “passion”, which I defined as refugee empowerment. As an East Asian Studies major, I engaged in North Korean refugee policy related extra-curriculars for years—volunteering at North Korean refugee organizations and interning at legal NGOs serving North Korean refugees. I had internally convinced myself that—as an East Asian Studies major who was born and raised in Seoul—this specialization would make me a unique candidate both as an applicant and student at law school.
Thus, when Professor Moglen pointed out that my purpose to pursue a US law degree would only be “very peripherally associated” and “doesn’t involve practicing US law”, it was the first time I honestly questioned myself: was I consciously conditioning myself to a set “passion” that would conveniently reassure myself I have a set path ahead of me? Something not big law, something public interest related, and something involving a field I would have more experience than others and have more specialty in. I also think my inner moral compass led me to believe that for my law degree to hold value, it must in some way serve the victimized minorities of society. | | | Redesigning my Path
My Passion for Wine | |
<
< | But really, when someone asks me what makes my eyes lit up, and what makes me zone in so strongly that I lose track of time, I always would answer “wine tasting”. In fact, during and after my time in college, I studied for months for the Wine & Spirit Education Trust exam, learning the history and processes of wine making, various regions and wineries that produce grapes, as well as tasting note distinctions for different wine varieties. My dream was always to become a professional sommelier, but raised by strict Asian parents who always told me the money they have invested in my education up until this point would all go to waste if I were to pursue a non-academic path, and already having studied for and built my career for law school until this point in time, I have for years shoved my greatest passion in the back of my mind and merely regarded it as a small “hobby” I have. | >
> | But really, when someone asks me what makes my eyes light up, and what makes me zone in so strongly that I lose track of time, I always answer “wine tasting”. During and after college, I studied extensively for the Wine & Spirit Education Trust and bartending exam, learning the history and processes of wine making, various regions and wineries that produce grapes, as well as tasting note distinctions for wine varieties. My dream has always been to become a professional sommelier. However, raised by strict Asian parents who constantly told me the money they have invested in my education would go to waste if I were to pursue a non-academic path, and already having built my career for law school for almost a decade, I have for years shoved my greatest passion in the back of my mind and merely regarded wine-related activities as a side “hobby” of mine. | | | Representing Beverage Clients | |
<
< | With my US law degree, I want to represent alcohol beverage clients. Laws and regulations apply to all steps of producing, distributing, selling, marketing, and advertising alcohol beverages--including wine. I want to represent various clients such as but not limited to importers, wineries, wholesalers, and even unlicensed third parties. These parties are subject to various regulatory investigations under the federal Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau as well as various state alcohol controlling legislations. With my enthusiasm for and knowledge in specific wines and wineries globally, as well as personal direct experience as a bartender and somelier-trainee, representing clients will instill within me purpose and professionalism in the regulatory and licensing guidelines I provide; I also want to partake in facilitating import of more diverse wine products globally in to the US by representing wineries in purchasing and selling businesses in transactional sales and mergers. | >
> | With my US law degree, I want to represent beverage clients. Law and regulations apply to all steps of producing, distributing, selling, marketing, and advertising alcohol beverages—including wine. I want to represent various clients such as but not limited to importers, wineries, wholesalers, and unlicensed third parties. These parties are subject to various regulatory investigations under the federal Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau as well as various state alcohol legislations. With my enthusiasm and knowledge of global wines and wineries, coupled with personal experience as a bartender and somelier-trainee, representing clients and providing regulatory or licensing guidelines will instill within me purpose and professionalism of working in the beverage industry. I also want to facilitate global import of more diverse wines to the US by representing wineries in purchasing and selling businesses in transactional sales and mergers. | | | Looking Forward | |
<
< | Even until the second semester of my law school career, I never imagined I could build my own legal career and link it to the passion I have. And this scares me. While following the traditional big law path would provide me with thousands of mentors in the industry, this new challenge ahead of me would lead me create and carve out my own path, taking initiative, instead of merely following the paths that tens and thousands have set ahead of me.
Since my practice is an evolving process, as Professor Moglen has advised, I hope to “revise, reconsider, and redefine” individual decisions as I envision my career. | >
> | Even until the second semester of law school, I never imagined I could build my own legal career and link it to my non-academic passion. Knowing now that I can, I am excited but simultaneously scared. While following the traditional big law path would provide me with countless mentors in the industry, this new challenge pushes me to carve out my own path and take greater initiative, as opposed to merely hopping on the big-law associate producing assembly line. | | | | |
<
< | I think my largest reluctance stemmed from the fact that my plans may not seem “concrete” enough. After all, I have never professionally worked with lawyers in the food and beverage industry. I do not have a business background, I have no idea how wine import regulations work, nor do I have any mentors who work in the food and beverage sections of the legal industry. I now realize that it’s not that these anxieties or doubts are invalid—they may very well be practical concerns worth keeping in mind.
At the same time, however, I think these anxious thoughts were what made me constantly think of reasons why not to, succumbing myself to those thoughts. Fear does indeed However, I will from now on accept the challenge as it is and not run away from the challenge, dismissing my anxieties no matter how valid they may be. | >
> | But my fear is what most stifles my growth. Yes, I have never professionally worked with lawyers in the beverage industry, my business plans are not yet “concrete”, and I lack detailed knowledge of how wine import regulations work. It is not that these anxieties or doubts are invalid—in fact, they are practical concerns worth keeping in mind. However, the most important thing to not succumb to such fear. I will accept these challenges and use them as a motivation to more specifically design my practice. As Professor Moglen has advised, it is my job to “revise, reconsider, and redefine” individual decisions in envisioning my career, and my practice is an evolving one. I am thus proud to have completed the first step to building my practice—creatively and autonomously envisioning my legal roadmap. | | | |
|