I am quite anxious after reading all of this. What is bothering the most, I think, is Nathan's memory of sitting in the library and just going on an adventure. I used to do that all the time. I do absolutely none of that now. When I think I have the time to, I end up saying to myself - why now join an extracurricular? In which you probably just listen to panels (although I'm sure a lot of them are interesting) and socializing with like-minded people who might just want to have the extracurricular on their resume. I rarely find myself going above and beyond intellectually...I remember as an undergraduate something would catch my eye when reading and I'd mark it down and then spend the next day or two just researching it or figuring it out in my head. Having grades unequivocally reduces my desire to do that...and even creates cognitive dissonance about it because I don't think any employer is really going to care that I'm intellectually curious or "take initiative" when all they say is "Please update your application with your 1L grades" --- and then wait for them to say nothing. This is of course a means/ends problem...but my sense of urgency with this 1L summer job thing is really clouding my mind and perhaps deluding me.

-- JessicaCohen - 05 Feb 2010